On this fall day falling between National Coffee Day in the U.S. and International Coffee Day worldwide, we’ll take our (for now) monthly dip and sip into the weird parallel world of faux-cabulary. Strands of letters spilled in the game that aren’t in any dictionary, but could’ve been with a slightly different roll of fate’s dice. Words in the list on the left of these iPhone 13 Pro screenshots are actual scoring words in the game. Our phonies and the definitions they inspired are in the text below.
Mallose: A sticky, syrupy white sugar made from the marshmallow plant. Often used in confectionery.
Spig: Adequate: These servo motors are perfectly spig for what we need.
Oclear: Relating to aural-visual coordination: Ted’s oclear acuity is off the charts.
Marloset: A member of the lemur family known for fluffing its long head fur in endearing expressions of gratification, excitement or jubilizing (see last two paragraphs) like it just doesn’t care.
Grash: Crassly brazen or audacious: That was grash of them, to say the least. I mean, the nerve.
Beausires: (Archaic) Members of elite nobility, often having exceptional equestrian skills.
Arteris: Ancient mythical planet used to idealize social norms to which people might aspire.
Shart: A short necktie resembling a cravat, originally worn in the 18th century. Revived briefly in the mid-1960s.
Chag: A men’s hairstyle characterized by short, unkempt but easily maintained locks. May go with a suitable shart.
Reshed: (Of an animal) To molt or shed skin, fur, horns, claws, chag, etc., after previous shedding in the same season.
Sask: The bark of certain North American trees ground to a pulp and used for chewing or dental hygiene. Individual fibers can also act as a floss, which can also produce a twanging musical sound in the mouth, as a jaw harp. Hence the colloquial verb sask: Sask a tune for us, Fred. Can you do Oh Susanna with a fanfare and a little cowbell? The verb can also mean to admonish, often with a waggling finger or long-suffering side-eye: Never have I been so sasked as when I tried that joke out on my (former) Canadian friend.
Ehaser: An experimental electronic stationery device designed to erase pen or pencil markings, or printed ink, without contacting the paper. Development indefinitely suspended amid concerns regarding the possibility, without proper range control, of erasing all written works in human history. Studies outlining the risk repeatedly disappeared under mysterious circumstances.
Obscure for what ails you
And for a dose of odd words that actually are in the dictionary but sometimes sound made-up, check out Merriam-Webster’s just released Great Big List of Beautiful and Useless Words, Vol. 4. Wherein they apprise us of the distinction between bean-counter and pie-counter, though (not to be orgulous) our own indispensible in-app bean counter is a different pot of chili altogether.
What in the word?
In a slight moment of epicharikaky, we did notice a misspelling (as of this posting) in the always meta-witty “degree of usefulness” part of their “illaudable” entry. Merriam-(ahem)Webster’s misspelled word? “Word.” (It’s supposed to be “world”). And in the cellarhood of this final paragraph, we’re left pondering: What might be the quiddity of Spell the Beans? A question for some future crimpy, impluvious day, we guess. For now, enjoy the coffee and find a few new creations in your own game. And that’s no blatherskite.